reflections

most mornings nowadays i wake up with a lot of trepidation and foreboding. i am never able to pinpoint the exact cause though.

usually what happens is that i'll wake up like that, then have to slog through the day to feel normal by night time. only to wake up the next day feeling shitty again.

it just sucks waking uo this way because i know im not usually like that. i put on a smile for the people i care about because i dont want them to worry about me.

this struggle is something i must undertake alone.

Facebook Rant

the other day, something really ticked me off to the point that i actually went to Facebook to air my grudges! the following was typed out in the heat of the moment:

"what is it with people not moving to the back of the bus? i mean, is it a haunted area or a restricted zone of some sort?

two buses bypassed my stop today because it was 'full'. people only stood up till halfway, leaving ample space at the back. i doubt you gotta pay extra just to move to the back right?

so what if you're alighting in one or two stops after, and you don't want to squeeze your way out of the bus? your selfishness in not allowing people to board may ruin the day lf other people;

may cause a person to be late for work, costing his promotion; a student to be late for his exam; a person to miss his flight for a holiday he's planned for months; unable to see a dying relative for one last time;

sure some of these things are exaggerated but hey its perfectly plausible that they can be true.

there are already 5 million of us squeezed onto this tiny island, making rush hour a nightmare for any mode of transport. so i see no point in making the problem worse.

so just please move in to the back of the bus when its full because that little action or lack thereof can make or break someone's day."

so yeah that happened ! :P

Positive

HEY!

recalled why my blog is named as such. back when i first started blogging in 2007-2008, i was very friendly, which some of my peers considered OVER-friendly. hence the words 'flirt' and 'irfan' were used interchangeably. and being the positive person i am, of course i embraced it! but it was a common misconception that the url is 'Flirt-To-Irf' shortened. as a young boy, i thought 'Flirt-o-Irf' was cool so i went with it.

anyways yeah these past few weeks i've been trying to keep myself busy, and filling up my days with things to do! and in most things, i realise that i'm a very sensitive person. not OVER-sensitive mind you! it's not like i'm gonna finger point everything you say or what.

but what i mean by that is that i can get really affected just by a person directing a negative comment or attitude to me. for example, a single comment said in passing, whereby the person who said is will forget about it the next day, will continue to haunt me for the next few days. i'll be thinking, 'what did i do wrong? did i say something wrong which compelled the person to say what he/she said? at that point, my whole week could be ruined as i keep mulling over the moment over and over in my mind. which is not healthy at all T.T

on the flip side though, i thrive on positive reinforcement. what i mean is, if i manage to do something correctly, and am praised for it, you can bet that i'll be able to do it a second time; and be happy about it too.

to be on the receiving end of negative comments just ruins anyone's day basically. that knowledge is also how i live my life by. i try to the best of my abilities to be impartial and treat everyone nice. i know i'm not perfect, (i'm only human after all) but i can strive to be the person who treats everyone like how i want to be treated.