tough

hey i've been battling a very long period of low morale for awhile now. not really sure what's causing it but i guess it's something to do with the fact that i'm always the initiator to things. if i wanna hang out with others i'm always the one to ask. sometimes, i just wish that someone would ask me out instead, or even invite me to a group outing.

also, i keep thinking, i so so so want to keep my feelings, but it seems more and more inadvisable. i've promised someone that i won't confess for the good of the bigger picture, but it's always gonna be an uphill battle. spending so much time together, and for me to develop feelings while the other hasn't is a telling sign.

i so so so wanna tell the person how i feel to get it off my chest, but i don't want to ruin things between us. there's much more at stake here, and it concerns things bigger than the two of us. which is why it would be selfish of me to try. but it's oh-so difficult gosh.

#rant #end